Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
