no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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