Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
