He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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