I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
