Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
