Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
are you so shy because you have an std?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
