you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
