ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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