So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
