I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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