she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize