You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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