I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize