ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
