Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
