just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Who did Billy Mays play for?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
