I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
