a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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