After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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