I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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