Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
