Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
