His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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