I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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