Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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