my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize