I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
