waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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