I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
