i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
