Sry I called you an 8
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize