He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
