The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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