Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
