if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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