if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize