I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
