He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
