This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
