i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
