He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We need to get me chipped asap
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
