You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
