he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
