Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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