I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize