He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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