so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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