I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
