In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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