Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
