i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
