omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
