my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize