did you get engaged???
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
