god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
