just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize