I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
