meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
