Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
