I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
