Duck Duck Cougar?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We need a shit load of segways right now
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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