you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
