I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
