I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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