worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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