I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The feeling are messing with the penis
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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