Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
