Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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