I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize