I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
