Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
