if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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