lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
