Sponge bath it is.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
