I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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