Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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