you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
