"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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